My life’s been kind of weird lately. I’m operating under the triple whammy of 1) end of the school year so there’s lots more things to do and 2) rebellion directed at the current writing project which makes me not want to work on it and does make me attempt to do anything (except house and garden work, of course) to avoid it and 3) all health problems that I’ve ever had coming to a head and compounded by way too many plants having sex causing the annual allergy free for all.
So to escape all this, I’ve been sleeping a lot, because I’m exhausted. And re-watching movies. And occasionally reading. Taking lots of drugs and hoping my allergies go away so I can think clearly again. And maybe even breathe! I really, really like the whole breathing thing.
So, there’s less than two days of school left and finally all my commitments are done. Just need to take child to the bus and pick her up. No more parties, volunteering in class, money owed for yearbooks, etc. She’ll be on her way to 5th. grade! After a summer of play, of course.
And the allergies will go away. Soon, I hope. All the other health crap’s getting slowly better, but I still want to go take a nap and I’ve only been up for three hours. Le sigh.
As for the work in progress, it started out as an SF mystery and has morphed into something else. Undefinable. And I’m just following along. And not really interested in writing the next scene at the moment. I think I took a wrong turn somewhere. Or something. I’ll eventually figure it out. I always do. But right now the story’s not very much fun to hang around with. So, I’ve been avoiding it; hoping the characters or the world or something would shift on their own. But they haven’t. I’ll have to go back in and keep working on it. Not liking where I think the plot is going. But maybe it’ll surprise me. That happens a lot.
I was at a social event the other night, watching other people and thinking about how their lives were simpler than mine. They work, they go home to their lives. And those without small kids, relax. And party. And have a life. Many of them have housecleaners. And they go out to eat. They go on vacations. I’ve had those jobs. And those times when I could leave everything behind and just chill out after work.
Most writers I’ve talked to, go to work. And stay at work. There’s never a real break, except sometimes, during sleeping. Some nights I write in my sleep. Even when writers go back into their daily life, there’s always a niggling about what they need to write next, what that character really needs to do, why the story isn’t working and they really should be writing instead of sitting around chatting people up at a party. There’s almost always guilt. No matter how long they spent that day writing and actually making progress. So, I was feeling a little bit of envy for the other people there. Mostly, I love my complex, crazy life. But sometimes, I wish my life was simpler. For my brain to be free and maybe even empty of shoulds. It feels like too much for me to handle right now.
But I’m hanging on and school will end, the allergies will die back until next year. The story will move forward and get finished and I’ll turn my attention to the next clamoring story that wants to be brought into existence. Life will go on.
The thing about being around this planet for a while is you begin to realize that things keep going. And hopefully, they keep getting better. Then they get worse. Then they get better again. It’s all a cycle.
So, this too shall pass. I’m going to go take another look at the story. If that fails then it’s time for a nap. Or a movie. Or a good book. Or go out into the garden and smell some of the roses perfuming it. Rose, which thankfully, I’m not allergic to.
Take care, until next time….